A Girl by Any Other Name Read online

  “Sylvie, don’t freak out about that. Like I said, we know each other, but we do have to get reacquainted, and there’s plenty of time for that.”

  “How are your mom and Mandy? I know some things because I’ve been keeping tabs on the Internet, but only what they post on their Facebook pages.”

  “They’re really good. Momma’s still running bake sales and heading up the choir. Mandy’s in college at Baylor majoring in music therapy. She got a scholarship.”

  “You must be so proud of her.”

  “We are, but you had a hand in that too. Between my dad, Mom and you, she developed a great love for music.”

  “She had a true talent for it. Far more than I did.”

  “I don’t know about that. Remember, I heard you singing at the WC.”

  “Yes, but you’re tone deaf.”

  “Funny, smartass. Do you still play? I don’t see a piano.”

  “There’s no room for one. I can barely fit my bed.” She went over to her bed and removed her cowboy boots. It was a pretty funny outfit—cowboy boots, baggy sweats, and a Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt. Yet she looked sexy as hell.

  “When you move in with me, there will be.”

  She gulped her beer and her eyes widened. “I like it here.”

  “Don’t be stubborn, Sylvie. This place isn’t very safe. I also think that maybe you should quit your job. I can—”

  “Stop. Right now. I mean it, Tex.”

  “What?”

  She walked over to me, placing her hands on my chest. “I know you’re concerned about me, but I’ve lived the last ten years without incidents. Locking yourself up is not living and I won’t do it. Not even for you. You can’t expect me to change my lifestyle.”

  “I understand you’ve had almost ten years—”

  “Fifteen. Almost fifteen years of my life have been in hiding, and even though I’m living in hiding, I refuse to hide.”

  “You have to understand that I almost lost you once. I don’t want to risk it again. I’ve only had two days with you and they’ve been the most pleasurable and uneasy of my life.” She stared at me in confusion. “Baby, do you know what it feels like to have the knowledge that someone out there is looking to harm the most important thing in the world to you?”

  She placed her hand on my face, “I know exactly how you feel. I’ve felt that way about you, but I have to live my life and you do too. The thing I love about being with you is that it’s so easy. So normal. I crave that.”

  “Yeah, as easy as breathing,” I replied, kissing her gently.

  “Right, so don’t suffocate me.”

  “Fine, but I’m fixing the deadbolt, drilling a peephole and putting a chain on this door.”

  “Fine.”

  “Also, I want you to text me when you get to and leave work. Every free minute we have is with each other. We will not sleep apart again, agreed?”

  “Tex, I’ll do what you want, but I think we need to take this just a bit slower,” she replied. I couldn’t understand her need to be separated from me, but I decided not to push it too hard. Not yet.

  “Fine,” I grumbled.

  She smiled, kissed my cheek then stood on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear, “Just give it time. You need it too, even if you don’t realize it yet.” Before I could respond, she started walking away. “I have something for you.” She went into a large closet. I took a minute to check the rest of her space. I noticed the painting in the corner of the room sitting on an easel.

  “You still paint?”

  “Yes, people commission me to paint portraits. I do it for extra money.”

  My jaw clenched as I stared at the painting of an older man, imagining him alone with her in this small apartment. “Relax, Tex, they send me pictures and I do the paintings from those and mail them out. I don’t even have any clients in Portland.”

  “How do you always know what I’m thinking?”

  “Because we have this weird connection.”

  “You’re still an amazing artist. I may be tone deaf, but I sure as hell have eyes.”

  She shrugged, standing in front of me. “Good enough to get paid is good enough for me.” She opened her hand, revealing the silver chain with the St Michael’s pendant I’d given her so long ago.

  “You still have it?”

  “Of course I do. I wear it to bed every night.”

  I twirled a strand of her hair around my finger. “You wear it to bed?”

  “I used to wear it all the time, but people touched it and asked about it. It made me too sad. I know it sounds strange to put on jewelry before bed, but it helps with the nightmares, and you were right about it. It feels like you’re there with me when I have it on.” She pressed it into my hand. “You told me you were lending it to me until I didn’t need it anymore. I know it’s overdue, but I’m ready to return it now.”

  I put it back in her palm and closed her fingers around it. “You keep it a while longer. Not that it helped you any when you needed it.” My mind raced back to that night and how I’d seen the glint of the pendant in the darkness so I could find her.

  She shook her head. “It did. I’m safe and you’re safe. We’re very lucky to be here.”

  “You’re right, so that only supports my case that you should keep it longer. It’s managed to keep you safe for ten years, and I’m not about to ask for it back now.” She nodded and surprised me by slipping it on without any argument. “Do you ever paint for pleasure?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “May I see those?”

  “I have never shown anyone.”

  “I don’t think I’m anyone.”

  “My personal work is behind the sheet in the corner,” she said, pointing in the direction.

  I walked over slowly, kneeling to the floor. She stood beside me, her legs shaking. I placed my hand on her ankle, gently rubbing away the tension. I smiled at her reassuringly before lifting the sheet. I viewed each of the canvases, feeling my heartbeat quicken at what she’d created. Some were in charcoal, some done in oil, some with water paints, but they all had one thing in common. They were all portraits of me, in some form or fashion. Me on the football field, throwing a pass. Me at the lake fishing. Me with Momma and Mandy in our living room. There was even one of me and my father.

  I wasn’t sure what to say. “You made me look very handsome.”

  “Yeah, I took some artistic license with that.”

  I laughed at her joke, but it was difficult with the large lump in my throat. I knew she’d never forgotten us, but the fact that she had so painstakingly recreated all of these images made it clear that I was in her heart as much as she was in mine. I pushed the canvases back against the wall and draped the sheet over them.

  I straightened up and turned to her, hugging her waist in my kneeling position. She stroked my hair. “Are you all right, Tex?”

  “I’ve never been better, Sylvie.” I lifted her shirt and pressed kisses to her flat stomach. I rolled down the waistband of my sweatpants she was wearing, loving the way my boxers fell right off her. “Lift your legs.” She lifted each one and I pulled the material away from her. “Take off my shirt.” She complied, revealing her perfect bare breasts. She was naked before me and I was kneeling in front of her, prepared to worship every inch of her. “Put your hands on my shoulders.”

  “You are very bossy,” she said, but complied.

  “It’s for your pleasure. Would you like me to stop?”

  “Don’t stop,” she replied without hesitation.

  “I didn’t think so.” I moved my head inside that space and licked her opening. Her legs began to tremble against my touch. I moved a finger inside her as I sucked on her clit, eliciting moans of pleasure from her. She tugged at my T-shirt and I withdrew my finger, lifting my arms, so she could pull it off. As soon as it was off me, I returned to my mission, enjoying the way her legs twitched with every flick of my tongue. It didn’t take long for her to come. I stood up, punctuating my movements with sma
ll, precise kisses marking my path.

  Her hands went to the buttons of my jeans. She undid them with her deft fingers and unzipped me. She crouched down removing them. “Lift.”

  “Look who’s bossy now.”

  “Lift your feet already.”

  I obliged. Once she had them off, I walked backward to the wall, leaning against it. I knew what she was thinking and I thought I would need something to stand against. She crawled to me on all fours, making my dick harden with each small advance as I watched the raw sexual desire in those gorgeous brown eyes. She took my full length in her mouth, gagging slightly.

  “You don’t have to do this, baby. Don’t hurt yourself.” I moved her hair away so I could watch her face for any signs of unease.

  She ignored me and kept going, with a look a sheer determination in her eyes. Yeah, my girl was stubborn like that. I was a lucky man. She moaned as she worked me over, causing the vibration to make my knees weaken. She caressed my sack and I almost lost it. I moved inside her, marveling how well her expert tongue saturated my dick. Her mouth suctioned against me. Her hands kneaded my ass. I sucked in some air, watching my dick disappear inside her pretty mouth.

  “Stop or I’m going to come.”

  “Do it then.” The words vibrated against my stiff cock.

  A choked cheer escaped me. “Baby, don’t talk with your mouth full.”

  I grabbed a fistful of hair, guiding her movements, until my release came hard and swift.

  Fuck.

  Her eyes grew wide, and I dislodged myself, waiting for her face to contort in distaste and the disgusted shriek that would follow. Instead, she looked up at me. Then I heard the most sexually arousing sound of my life….her gulp.

  She stood up, a dribble at the corner of her mouth. As if I couldn’t be more turned on, she gathered it with her finger, bringing it to her tongue.

  Fuck.

  “Did that really just fucking happen?”

  “What?”

  “Baby, you sucked my dick and blew my mind at the same time.”

  She smiled with great pride. “So, you liked it?”

  “That’s an understatement. Where did you put the condoms?”

  Her jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, right?”

  I shrugged. “Nope. I feel it would be a crying shame not to use some of the stuff we bought.” I pulled her against my chest, caressing her back, kissing her neck. “I need to be inside you. I want to feel you again.”

  “’Kay.”

  I laughed. “Tell me if you’re tired. I’ll respect that.”

  She looked up at me. “Think I can’t keep up with you?”

  “Girl, I always knew you were as much of a sex freak as me.”

  “Correction, more than you.” My sly grin widened. “You continue to blow my mind even when you’re not sucking on my dick.”

  She giggled, and walked toward the small table in the entry. I came up behind her and took the foil wrapper from her. I moved her hair aside so I could kiss her shoulder before I picked her up and carried her to bed. My desire was too great not to touch her.

  I sat on the edge of her bed with her in my lap. I kissed her jaw and nibbled gently on her earlobe. I never wanted to draw pain from her. I never wanted to trigger a negative memory so I was very careful to leave her body unmarked by my touch. She put her arms around my neck and our lips searched each other out.

  “Let me put this on before I lose the nerve,” I whispered, holding up the condom.

  She nodded and shifted off me. She lay down on her back. I made quick work of getting outfitted. And then I jumped on top of her, careful to brace my weight against my hands. “You have to tell me if I hurt you. Do you promise to do that?” She looked at me curiously, and I knew she was wondering what I was planning. I didn’t think I could keep being gentle. I needed to propel rather than thrust. To drive into her with all the lust that was coursing through me.

  “You wouldn’t hurt me—”

  I kissed her, murmuring the words against her open lips. “When I’m with you like this, I have very little control, and I need your help.” I trailed my hand down her breasts, past her belly button and into the moist folds of her pussy. She wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her head in my chest. “Look at me, Sylvie. I need to talk to you.”

  “I can’t talk,” she whimpered. “Not when you’re doing this.”

  “Then just listen for a minute.” I plunged my fingers in and out of her, manipulating her vagina until she was so slick we both heard the audible sounds of my fingers’ penetration. “I crave you like an addict with his drug of choice. And I need a fix really bad.” I added a finger, moving more forcefully. Her lips parted, inviting me in for a kiss, but I wasn’t ready yet. “So promise me right now that while I’m fucking you, you’ll be conscious of the line between pleasure and pain, because I might not be.” She widened her eyes, and nodded, running her fingers along my lips. My slow smile grew wider. I drew her finger in, sucking on it slowly. “Not good enough. I love the gesture, but I demand the words.”

  “I promise.”

  I retreated my fingers, tracing her soft lips with them. She parted her mouth and licked the area. My dick twitched in response. I growled in some garbled ancient language people only spoke in intimate, passionate moments. I moved down the bed, clasping her ankles and pulling her lower. I lifted her legs, kissing them, paying special attention to the ominous bird. I lifted her ass off the bed, bending each leg over my shoulder. My hand gripped on the scroll metal bars of her headboard, offering me the leverage I needed. I pushed into her, pulling out almost completely before diving back in again.

  She screamed with each thrust, clutching the bed sheets until her knuckles turned white. “Oh… God, Tex,” she said breathlessly.

  “Pinch your nipples,” I commanded. She complied. “Get them wet.” She licked her fingers generously before swiping them across her nipples. I took my free hand and manipulated her clit. Her eyes searched mine, begging for release. I shook my head and withdrew. Then I slammed back into her with my full length. “Not yet.”

  The contours of her beautiful face contorted as the waves of pleasure built in her until her release. I closed my eyes and followed soon after.

  I dislodged each leg carefully, rubbing her ankles. I watched her as we both regained our breath. I roamed my hands over the soft, warm, freshly slick planes of her flesh. She was as lovely as a lily, sweet as honey and sexy as sin. My finger traveled in the hollow space between her breasts, gliding down her body before bringing it to my tongue. Her mouth dropped open in surprise, but I decided that was an invitation to explore it. I kissed her slowly, relishing the decadent taste of her, holding her face against mine. Then I lay down next to her, flopping my leg over her. She rested her head on my chest and rubbed my shoulder.

  “I didn’t think about my bed. It’s so small and you’re so…big,” she said after a while.

  I laughed, pulling her close to me. “You’ll have to sleep on top of me. It’s the only way.”

  “That’s going to be so uncomfortable for you.”

  “I think it’s going to be the best sleep I’ll ever have.” She giggled against me. We remained quiet for a while. I threaded my fingers through her hair, and she nuzzled against my chest, the sounds of our combined breathing permeating the air.

  “I don’t have much experience, but I didn’t think that sex could be this good.”

  “Sex is the physical response to emotional need. It feels natural because it’s us.”

  “Easy as breathing.”

  “I haven’t slept well in almost ten years,” I admitted, while playing with the soft curls of hair.

  “Me neither.”

  “Well, I’m glad we’re finally getting some sleep then. Let’s play hooky tomorrow,” I suggested.

  “I can’t. I have a class to teach. I can’t bail on those kids.”

  “What time do you work?”

  “Not until four. I close tomorrow.”
r />   “I don’t have a class tomorrow. I just grade papers with Jessica, so we can hang all day.”

  “Oh, okay.” There was something off about the way she said it.

  “What’s wrong, Sylvie?”

  “Is there something going on between you two?” I wasn’t expecting that question.

  “No, our relationship has always been professional. Why do you ask?”

  “I was just wondering because of the way she looks at you sometimes. Of course, a lot of girls look at you that way.”

  “You never did.”

  “I did. I’m just better at hiding it. I had to be. Tex, when you read that unsent letter to me, I almost had a breakdown in there.”

  “I guess my plan worked then. I wanted to draw you out without sounding crazy in case I was wrong.”

  “I lied in class,” she said, with an impish smile.

  “About what?”

  “I like Thomas Hardy, but that wasn’t my favorite novel.” She moved away from me, reaching into her nightstand drawer. I immediately felt the loss of her body, and wanted to pull her back. She held up a hardcover book. I blinked, staring at the tattered, well-worn copy of Raven Girl by Caleb James Tanner. “This is my favorite book. I’ve read it a million times.”

  “I can tell,” I replied, taking it from her. “So you were the one person who bought my book.”

  “Stop, it was a great book.”

  “I was doing a public service. I provided the critics an abundance of fodder for their craft. I think one of them compared me to Forrest Gump without the excuse of a mental impairment.”

  She was quiet for a minute. I lifted her chin, smiling at her, but she didn’t smile back. “I think it was criticized so much because the story felt unfinished.”

  “Perhaps it deserves a sequel?”

  “I think so, Tex.”

  I moved the book back to the nightstand, not wanting to talk about my failed attempt as an author. I kissed her neck and pulled her close to me. It was a while until either of us spoke again, comfortable with the silence as we always were. “By the way, I’m withdrawing from your class. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

  “That’s probably a good idea since I was going to fail you anyway.”