The Other P-Word Page 29

  “I’m sorry I slapped you.”

  “I get it. You were trying to turn me on.”

  God help me, I laughed. Evan clasped my waist and moved me toward a sitting area. We didn’t sit though. We stood there staring at each other.

  “I deserved it,” he finally said.

  “You did. You do. Do you know what I saw today? I saw life happen. It was like being in the presence of a great gift—a miracle. How could you give that up without a fight?” I crossed my arms, my body shaking with rage. “Remember when we were at the library and I said I wanted a man who would die for me?”

  “Yes, I remember that well.”

  “I was wrong. As wrong as I could be. I don’t want the man who dies for me. I want the one who lives for me—or at least fights to live. Why won’t you do that? Not just for me, but for yourself.”

  My lip quivered. A violent sob rocked through me, breaking through the last of my strength. He scooped me in his arms, letting me cry against his chest. He rubbed my back. His mouth hovered close to my ear, but it took a few times for me to hear what he said.

  “Angel, I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. That’s not enough, I know, but I promise I will fight for us in every way possible from this day on if you’ll still have me. I’ve read each of your letters a hundred times. I want to try. I want to have the surgery.”

  My bitter tears dried up. I stilled in his arms.

  “Say something.”

  “I wish you would have told me that before I slapped you.”

  He released a choked laugh.

  He held me tighter and the first swirling snowflakes gathered in the windows. Either my own weakness or his had brought us to our knees, but we didn’t let go of each other. I said a silent prayer to every holy deity I knew of and even those I didn’t. I silently vowed every Christmas and birthday for the rest of my life to save this man. Please God, save him.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  I heard Party in the USA in the cab from LAX to the hospital. I took it as a good omen. I mouthed the words and silently thanked Miley Cyrus for putting me in a positive mood. Evan placed his hand over mine and kissed my temple. A week ago my heart lay broken. Now we had hope. He kept warning me not to have too much, but I kept my glass full with optimism—at least around him.

  “I want you to know that no matter how this turns out, I am grateful to your family for everything they’ve done for me.”

  I shook my head. “Thank you for saying it, but don’t talk like that, Evan.”

  We walked up the steps to the hospital. Evan was still muscular but he’d lost weight. As the tumor had grown, his heart had to work harder to pump blood. He was often short of breath. I tried to paste a smile on my face—to tell him jokes and keep him in good spirits.

  Evan had to have many tests. They separated us for that period. I clutched the paperwork that contained his test results, scans and a medical power of attorney assigning me as his healthy proxy. Derek led me toward the office. It was strange seeing Derek in a white lab coat and hearing everyone refer to him as Dr. Wolfe.

  “You’ll have to convince Dr. Reddy. Evan’s case is complicated. He’s almost a medical anomaly.”

  “Well, I’ve come armed with arguments.”

  “If anyone can do this surgery, it’s Reddy. He’s brilliant. He makes medical anomalies into medical miracles.”

  “I detect some hero worship.”

  Derek shrugged, his crooked smile widening. “He’s the best surgeon here. I’ve been honored to work with him.” He paused outside the door. “You sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”

  “No, I can do this. Thank you for everything, Derek.”

  He kissed my cheek. “Evan’s one lucky guy.”

  “That he is. I couldn’t find any surgeons that would even consider his case. The fact that you were able to set this up is a miracle in itself. We’re both very grateful.”

  The good Dr. Wolfe frowned, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant, Billie. He’s lucky to have you.”

  I embraced him. “Thank you, Derek.”

  Dr. Reddy’s office came complete with beige walls and framed accolades. I waited patiently, all the while trying not to jump out of my seat, while he took his time reviewing Evan’s charts.

  “This is even more complicated than I initially thought.” He rubbed his goatee, launching into an explanation that almost gave me a heart attack. “The tumor’s location requires an intricate and challenging operation. We’d have to remove his heart and operate on it outside of his body.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I understand your concerns. We’re aware of the risks. We’ve researched them extensively. Please, Dr. Reddy, do this surgery. I love this man. We’ll both remember you in every prayer we say.”

  “That’s noble, but—”

  And I wouldn’t let him get it out. I actually did jump out of my chair.

  “We’ll name our first child after you,” I blurted. He looked shocked, but I kept going. “What’s your first name?”

  The esteemed doctor’s eyes crinkled as he regarded me, his expression boarding on amusement. “Gadhadhar.”

  Oh shit. “Maybe that’ll be the kid’s middle name.”

  He laughed. “Miss Price, I was going to tell you that I will take on Mr. Wright’s case.”

  I hugged the man senseless.

  “Make sure you send me a picture of my namesake.”

  I laughed. “Yes, sir.”

  Evan was sitting up in bed, sipping an orange juice when I returned.

  “Come here,” he said, patting the area next to him.

  “He’s going to do the surgery.”

  He pulled me beside him and leaned his head against mine.

  “I figured, based on your smile.” We were quiet for a while, absorbing it all. “I have to tell you something, Billie Marie.”

  I didn’t want him to tell me not to get my hopes up again. I chewed my bottom lip. He turned my face and kissed me, extracting it in the process. I looked into his dark eyes. I wanted to yank all the tubes off him.

  “I never thought I would love anyone the way I love you. I want you to know that even if Dr. Reddy is successful, you fixed my heart first.”

  I wrapped my arms around him. “I love you too, Evan.” I let go of all the bravery I’d been holding as I buried my head in his neck.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  I spent long hours at the hospital. I met most of the staff. I only left when Evan insisted I go back to the hotel to get some sleep. I bought him a guitar because he’d driven the hospital staff crazy, making requests to go for a run or workout. The most they allowed was for him to walk the grounds. When he wasn’t in his room, I knew he was outside. I found him there on a bench. He strummed a few notes with a notebook perched on his lap.

  The golden glow of the bright California sun shone around him. The garden was blooming with vibrant flowers of purple, pink and white. Their colors were so vivid, they looked almost too beautiful to be real, and their scent was like sweet nectar. People were going about their business. Nurses wheeled patients in chairs. Others sat outside enjoying the day with their families. Evan was wearing jeans and a vintage Ramones T-shirt. No doubt he insisted on wearing his own clothes outside.

  When he looked up at me, I almost wilted under his smile.

  “I’m taking a lot of drugs right now, but I swear you look like an angel.”

  Heat crept into my face from his compliment. “You look pretty saintly yourself.”

  “That’s good, considering I’m having some wicked thoughts about you.”

  “Whatcha doing?”

  “Writing a song.”

  “About what?”

  He looked up, a new nervousness in his expression. “You—or at least the way I feel about you.”

  “May I hear it?”

  He patted the side of the bench, gesturing me to sit. “It’s rusty. I’m not a writer like you. I just had a lot of things I needed to
get out, and it’s the only medium I know.”

  “Sing me your song, Evan.”

  “It’s your song, angel.”

  The music started slow. I thought he missed the lead-in because he started the chords over. His deep, raspy voice with its perfect hint of gravel came out clear and strong. He stopped looking at his fingers and stared at me while he sang.

  “We had ourselves a little romance

  A twist of fate, a turn of chance

  We had ourselves a little romance

  I could tell you that she loved me but that’s not the whole truth

  I could tell you that she healed me but that’s not quite right

  I could tell you that I fell for her and that’s a little closer

  She made me want to fight

  She held my hand and gave me hope

  She made me a better man

  She didn’t just love me

  She made me real

  She let me borrow her strength

  She let me feel

  She didn’t just love me

  She made me real.

  We had ourselves an epic romance.”

  I thought we were the only two people in the word, but the sound of clapping hands alerted me that I wasn’t the only one listening. His rubbed his thumb under my eye, wiping away my tear.

  “You do more than love me, Billie Marie Price. You make me real.”

  * * * *

  Everyone kept calling to check on Evan’s condition. He told his grandmother the truth. I saw a great weight lifted off him with those revelations.

  “That was hard, but I feel good,” he said when he got off the phone.

  “Living in truth lightens the load.”

  “What are you doing?” Evan asked, gesturing to the blanket on my lap.

  “I thought I’d finish the afghan I’m working on.”

  “That’s pretty. I didn’t know you could do that.”

  “Mrs. Garcia taught me. I’m not as good as her.”

  “I wonder what else there is about you that…”

  He didn’t finish the sentence, but I caught the deeper meaning. He wondered what else he’d never know. I put down my needles. The blanket was almost finished, so I held it up and wrapped it around us as I lay next to him.

  “Baby, this blanket is nice but scratchy as hell. I really have to feel your skin right now.”

  I flipped it off of us just as the sounds of We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus filled the room—my ringtone for Dillon.

  “Hey,” I answered.

  “Hey kid, how’s Evan?”

  “He’s good.”

  “Good. Um…have you heard?”

  “Heard what?”

  “You need to turn on the television. The Gossip Countdown. They’re interviewing Preston.”

  “What? Is that show still on?”

  “Actually, it ended a few weeks ago, but this is his first interview.”

  “I really have no desire to watch.”

  “There are camera crews at the Lost Souls’ Club and Marley’s place. Don’t freak out. They’re not really bothering anyone.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I guess you’ll have to watch it to find out. They already played it on the East Coast.”

  “Fine.”

  “Either way, tell Evan he won the finale.”

  I turned to Evan. “Did you bet on Preston’s choice?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I thought it was a pretty sure thing, baby.”

  “I’ll call you back, Dills.”

  I flipped the TV on and scrolled through the channels until I saw Preston’s face.

  “Come here,” Evan said, patting the bed. I wasn’t sure if I was angry yet so I sat on the edge. He pulled me close to him.

  The last two girls were as different as night and day. I’d watched a few snippets here and there. The brunette was an actress who seemed to have a really big heart and to be a genuine person. The other woman, a blonde lawyer, was cold as ice and constantly put down the other girls. Knowing Preston, I was rooting for the lawyer. They’d be perfect together.

  The voice-over did a synopsis of the show right down to that last moment. We watched Preston let down the actress. She cried.

  “She’ll be okay. This was the best thing that could have happened to her. I should know.”

  “I think you’re right, baby.”

  The lawyer was next. Surprisingly, Preston let her down too. She didn’t cry.

  “I don’t understand. He didn’t pick either of them?”

  “Guess not.”

  “And that’s what you bet on?”

  “Let’s watch it.”

  The interviewer sat across from Preston in that subdued, soft light they often used on television.

  “So the question America wants to know is why you didn’t propose to either woman.”

  Preston cleared his throat, clasping his hands together. “I couldn’t say until now. My confidentiality clause was very specific, but I’m ready to answer America’s question. The truth is that I am a big fraud. I entered this show for the fame and advertising, but it wasn’t worth what I gave up. What I left behind.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “A girl—her name was Billie. She is the most amazing girl and I’ve never regretted a decision so much in my life.”

  My jaw dropped so wide I could have fit my fist in my mouth. The camera zoomed in on Preston. “Billie, if you’re listening to this, please take me back. I’ve thought of nothing else but you all these months.”

  “There’s no way he’s getting anywhere near you,” Evan whispered. “Not on my watch.”

  I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder. “Not on my watch, either.”

  He took the remote from me, turning off the television. “You bet that he wouldn’t pick either girl?”

  “I bet he would realize what a fool he was and pick you—and I was right. The guy’s an ass but I feel sorry for him because I know he’s gotta be kicking his own ass right now. I get that better than anyone.”

  Evan brushed his lips against mine. He nibbled on my earlobe and worked his way down my neck.

  “Evan, we can’t do this.”

  “When did the nurse come in last?” he asked, punctuating each word with another kiss.

  “Ten minutes ago.”

  “We have a half hour, at least.”

  “Evan…”

  “Lock the door and close the blinds.”

  “This isn’t a good idea.”

  “I can have sex. We just can’t have crazy monkey sex.”

  “Did you ask?”

  He looked up at me, displaying the cocky grin that always weakened my resolve. “May I have sex with you…please?”

  “Not me, the doctor.”

  “I wasn’t interested in fucking him.”

  “Evan!”

  “Am I getting denied?” He lifted me against him—an act to show me the reserves of his strength hadn’t diminished. “Let me love you, Billie. I need your body. I need to get you off right now. Although I won the bet, I really need to get rid of the image of that dickhead asking for you back.”

  He caressed my breast, evaporating all my concerns. I crawled out of the bed. His look of disappointment bored through me. I turned around at the door, clicking it in place and checking it.

  “Come here, beautiful.”

  I twirled the blinds closed and slipped off my shoes.

  He sat up in bed and brought me to his lap. He bunched my skirt around my waist. His hands worked up the sides of my legs, until they grasped my hips.

  “Unbutton your shirt.”

  “You’re bossy.”

  He licked his bottom lip, his hands tightening suddenly. His eyes blazed at me with an expression that hovered around lust and exasperation. “Don’t make me ask for what’s mine again.”

  I unsnapped my shirt. He kissed the outline of my bra until his teeth gripped the edge of the material, pulling it away from my breast. He sucked each n
ipple slowly, taking it into his mouth and flicking it against his tongue.

  I forced his head up. I needed to kiss him. To feel his mouth against mine.

  “I missed this,” he said, kissing my jawline. “You’re a craving that just won’t quit.”

  “Me too, Evan. Take it easy though. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  He smiled that wicked smile, arching an eyebrow. “What a way to go.” He slid his finger beneath the elastic band of my panties. He stroked my pussy. “You’re already wet.”

  “Of course I am.”

  I ground myself against his finger.

  “I want to fuck you.”

  “Yes,” I panted.

  He slid us down the bed. “With my tongue.”

  I crawled up his body at the same time as he slid my panties off. There was nothing to hold onto as he slid his tongue inside me. His strong hands kept me in place, though. My body quivered as he inhaled me. Then he impaled me with his talented tongue while his fingers dug into my hips. I trembled as he stroked me.

  “Oh God.”

  “I’m going to gag you if you’re not quiet,” he said, slapping my ass. “You taste so damn good.” The vibrations of those words filled my whole body with raw, tangible heat.

  “Evan, I need you…please.” I moved from his grasp.

  “All right, then you fuck me,” he commanded with clenched teeth. He slid his cock against me. “You don’t need permission to take what’s yours either.”

  I sank onto him, feeling every increment of the long journey. I wrapped my arms around him.

  I leaned against his forehead. His eyes never left mine. “I love you,” I said.

  He grunted in approval, smacking his lips against mine. “I love you too.”

  I rolled my hips, not releasing my grasp on him. “I’m yours, Evan.”

  He sucked in a deep breath, pulling me against him.

  I raked my nails across his back. I rolled, bounced and shifted. He crushed his mouth against mine, swallowing every sound between us.

  I lifted my knees, feeling that final thrust in every cell. I didn’t let go. I embraced him—kept my body entwined with his.