Girl By Any Other Name Read online

  “It wasn’t you. We’re not right for each other, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a wonderful person. You’re going to meet someone who can treat you the way you deserve.”

  “What does she have that I don’t have?”

  Part of me wondered if I should divulge that Sylvie and Sophie were one and the same, but in the end, it would do nothing to appease her anger and only lead to more questions. I swallowed hard, preparing for my answer, not wanting to hurt her anymore tonight. “I plead the Fifth.”

  “You can’t even give me a straight answer like I deserve?”

  “I can, but why? Anything I say will only make me sound like a complete asshole, and it will do nothing to make you feel better.”

  She was quiet for a minute, contemplating my statement. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “I’m going to go, Molls. I left an empty trash bin by your bed in case you need to throw up.”

  I got up to leave. As I neared her bedroom door, her voice halted me once more. “She’s a very lucky girl. You are a good man.”

  I turned to her in the dark, embarrassed by her compliment. “Thank you, Molls. Sleep well. We’ll talk later.”

  I walked the two miles back to the bar. I considered taking a cab, but I wanted a chance to decompress and think. All my thoughts centered around Sylvie. This would be the first night we’d spent apart since she came back into my life. I couldn’t sleep without her. I needed to see her. I was on autopilot as soon as I got into my car, heading straight for her place.

  Chapter 29

  Present day

  I knocked on the door several times, but there was no answer. Sylvie might be asleep since it was late, but I wanted to tell her about tonight. It would weigh on my conscience until I did. I knocked more vigorously, feeling a little miffed I didn’t have a key. We had talked about exchanging keys, but we hadn’t done it, and since we were usually together, it didn’t seem important. There was still no answer, which was strange since Sylvie wasn’t a heavy sleeper. I doubted she would be out at this time, but I called her cell phone. I heard Mumford & Sons’ “I Will Wait” coming through the closed door. It was her ringtone for me and usually made me smile, but tonight the lyrics sounded foreboding. I tried the door, calling her name, but of course, it was locked.

  I wished I hadn’t reinforced it so much since it would make it difficult to kick it in. I moved as far away as I could in the narrow hallway to get the required momentum. That was when I noticed her doormat was askew. I kicked it out of the way. The feelings of repentance were replaced with rage. There, against the beige carpet, lay a glinting gold object, shining with no shame, mocking me. A key. She had a fucking key under her doormat. How could she be this stupid?

  My hand shook as I turned the key in the doorknob. I told myself to calm down. If she was home, the front door chain would be attached and alarm set, so I still would have to break down the door. To my dismay, neither safety device was activated. Only the main lock was connected. My gaze shifted wildly around the room. You could see her whole space from the front door. Well, everything except for the bathroom. A thin line of brilliant gold emanated from the bottom of the door. I made my way there with hasty, heavy footsteps. I crashed into it as I turned the knob.

  A hard plastic object smacked me in the head.

  I rubbed my head and stared at the girl in front of me, mouth gaping open and eyes wide with shock. “Girl, did you just attack me with a hair dryer?”

  Her mouth gaped. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was you. What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to see you.”

  “Let me look at it.” She stood on her tippy toes, gently feeling for what I assumed was a bump.

  I pushed her hands away. “I’m fine.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I stared at her, unable to hide my incredulous expression at her lack of concern for her own safety. “Aren’t you going to ask me how I got in?”

  “How did you get in?”

  “With this,” I said, pulling out the key. “What the hell is wrong with you? You leave your front door key under the fucking doormat?”

  “I forgot it was there. I’ve been locked out before, and I put it there a long time ago.”

  A shrill, cynical laugh escaped my lips. “That makes it worse. You didn’t set the alarm, the chain, or the deadbolt either.”

  “I just took the garbage down to the bin. I was planning on doing all that before I went to bed.”

  “Jesus, girl, are you really this stupid? You need to set them when you’re in the fucking house. That’s what they are there for. And do not take the garbage out in the dead of night.” I slammed my fist onto the bathroom vanity, unable to contain my temper. She winced, backing away from me.

  “Cal, if something’s going to get you, a locked door won’t keep it away.”

  I shook my head, every muscle in my body rigid with anger. “You said that when we were kids. I thought it was dumb then, but now it’s completely idiotic.”

  She squared her shoulders, placing her hands on her hips. “I’ve taken care of myself for the past ten years just fine, you know!”

  “I wouldn’t know, would I?” I said quietly.

  Her lower lip began to quiver. “You should leave,” she said in a choked voice.

  I walked over to her and took her in my arms. She fought against me, but I gripped her tightly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. At least not that way. I’m just so fucking mad at you right now.”

  She pushed me away from her again. This time I let her. “I should be more careful. But you have no right to speak to me like that.”

  “I’m concerned for you. You have a responsibility to keep yourself safe. A responsibility to you. And…to me. I love you. If I lost you again, it would destroy me. You’re smarter than this.”

  “You’re right, but can you stop with the other stuff?”

  “What other stuff?”

  “Reminding me how I left. I didn’t have any choices. Do you think it wasn’t hard for me? That I didn’t think about you every single day? I wondered where you were, what you were doing, how your leg was feeling.” She leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees, hiding her tears from me.

  I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulder, rubbing it gently. She buried her face in my chest. We sat in silence for a while except for her muffled cries.

  “I know it was hard on you. Harder, in fact, because you had lost your father and you didn’t have anyone to care for you when you needed someone the most. I would have given anything to help you through that. So, when I mention those times I missed, it has more to do with my own regret. I’m so sorry, baby.”

  She sobbed for an eternity. I held her tightly, wishing to God I had held my anger in check. I just wanted to keep her safe. But all I’d done was hurt her. When she was spent of tears, she whispered so softly I had to strain to hear her. “My father was killed that night, but his soul died with my mother. I mourned his loss years before he died.”

  “I’ve never approved of the way he treated you, but I was always amazed at your capacity to love him regardless of it.”

  I took her face in my hands, wiping her tears with my thumbs.

  She pulled her head up. “Your father knew about us. He knew my family’s history and that we were in hiding.”

  I sucked in a deep breath, shaking my head at the revelation. “He would have told me.”

  “He couldn’t. They always inform the local law, or at least a high official. That’s the reason we moved next door to you. Fate made us neighbors. But your compassion made us friends.”

  “Yours, too.” I thought back to all those memories of our youth. “I always wondered why my dad never did anything about yours. I heard him talking sometimes with my mom. He worried about your dad’s alcoholism. Was it because of your situation?” For the first time in my life, I was disappointed in my own father.

  “He
did try, Cal. He set up a meeting with my dad when I was twelve. He wanted to contact the US Marshal’s office about getting me moved to another home.”

  “Why didn’t he just do it?”

  “Our situation was unique, and he couldn’t exactly call Child Protective Services. But that’s the funny thing. You’d think my dad would have been outraged, or at least feel ashamed that another man was asking him to give up his child.”

  “What was his response?” I had a feeling I already knew the answer.

  “He agreed. It was like he’d asked my dad to donate some of his old clothes to charity. No big deal. I would have ended up in a different city with strangers I didn’t know, or worse, in foster care. He’d never see me again, and that was just fine with him. I decided it was fine by me, too. I even looked up places where I might live. When I turned thirteen, they set it all up. They were going to move me here to Portland. There was a family that agreed to take me in.”

  “I’m sorry, Sylvie. You have such a good heart despite what you’ve been through, or maybe it’s because of it. I’m not sure, but being loved by you is not something I will ever take for granted.”

  “I feel the same way about you.” She twisted a strand of her hair around her fingers. “I loved my father, but I also started to resent him that day.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you didn’t leave Prairie, but why didn’t you?”

  “I asked your father not to go to our case worker. I told him my dad may ignore me, but I could take care of myself. I begged him not to take me away from the only family I had and the life we’d built.”

  “So, he just agreed?”

  “It took some convincing, but he eventually did. There were a lot of complications. In some ways, moving me would create more dangers than staying put. He checked up on me a lot. You didn’t know that, did you?”

  I shook my head. The idea that my father knew all of Sylvie’s secrets brought me some strange comfort. “So, you stayed because you didn’t want to leave your father?”

  She shifted, sitting on my lap, burying her face against my neck. “When I asked Sheriff Tanner not to take away the only family I had, like you, he thought I was talking about my dad, but I wasn’t. I was referring to you and Mandy and your mother. I was thinking of the boy who told me I was pretty. The one who taught me to fish and sat with me outside of church. The boy who prayed for me and held me at night. The one who slept on my floor and asked me not to move away.”

  “You stayed for me?”

  “I stayed for me because I needed your friendship.”

  I kissed her head. “So, you were supposed to come here.”

  “Yeah, I eventually did. Isn’t that why you came here?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  She quirked her eyebrow. “You don’t remember? I told you once I would be here.”

  “You did?”

  “Why are you here, Caleb?”

  “Why am I in Portland? I got a decent paying job, and I don’t know…something drew me. When did you tell me?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I kind of like that you don’t remember. Then it was fate.” She smiled and leaned back against my chest.

  I wanted to ask her more, but instead I just held her, grateful we were together. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

  “I’ll be more careful. I promise.”

  I tilted her face so I could look into her big brown eyes. “Thank you, Sophie.”

  She arched her eyebrow. “You’re calling me Sophie now?”

  “I am.” I was making too many mistakes, as she’d implied I would. “I decided it doesn’t matter. A girl by any other name still smells as sweet.” I ran my nose along her neck. “You smell so good, like fresh honey.”

  Her smile instantly relieved the tension in my body. “Paraphrasing Shakespeare, huh?”

  “Yeah, a really smart girl quoted Shakespeare to me when I was ten, and I’ve been a fan of the bard ever since.” I went to kiss her, but she backed away.

  “Speaking of smells, do you want to tell me why you have another woman’s scent on you?”

  Fuck.

  “I can explain that. Hell, that makes me sound guilty as sin. I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

  “Just tell me. I ain’t got all day.”

  I took a deep breath, ready to spill all my poor choices. “I used to date this girl, Molly. She’s a sweet girl, and we stayed friends afterwards. It was probably a mistake to do that, but we both needed a friend. I met her and another friend, Tony, at the bar tonight. We meet for drinks every weekend, although I’ve been skipping out since…since you. When you said you needed to work, I figured I’d go meet up with them. As soon as I got there though, I realized what a dickhead move it was. I’m sorry.”

  “Why do you smell like her?”

  “She got pretty wasted, and there was a guy I didn’t trust. I wanted to make sure she made it home so I drove her. She hugged me a few times. I swear on my life nothing happened. I have no problems telling her we can’t be friends anymore. When I replayed in my head how I would feel if you did that, I realized how disrespectful it was. I never want to jeopardize what we have.”

  She was contemplative for a moment, biting her lower lip. She surprised me with a kiss on my cheek. She wore sleeping shorts and one of my T-shirts. I caressed her bare legs as she got comfortable against my chest.

  “Don’t do that, Cal. You’re a very good friend. I wouldn’t take that away from anybody.”

  “You’re not mad?”

  “I trust you. Besides, I’d be a hypocrite if I told you not to see her again.”

  “How so?” I asked, feeling all the relaxed muscles tense again.

  “My number one, as you like to call him, is still in my life. He lives in another state, but I talk to him on the phone, and we see each other once in a while.”

  “I see,” I replied as evenly as I could, gnashing my teeth together.

  She put a hand on each side of my face, looking up at me. “I love you. Any intimacy between him and I was over a long a time ago.”

  “Well, you’ve put me in a position where arguing would only make me look like a damn fool.”

  “So, let’s not argue about it.”

  “You’re right. I don’t want to talk about other people anymore. Let me love you tonight.” I trailed kisses down her jawline, but she backed away before I could descend any farther.

  “We can’t. I got my period.”

  I bent down so I could whisper in her ear. “I don’t mind.”

  She laughed, pushing herself off me. “Ewweee, I do.”

  I sighed in exasperation. I wasn’t getting makeup sex. “Fine,” I grumbled.

  “Don’t be that way. It’s good news.”

  “How in the hell is it good news?”

  “Because I’m not pregnant, silly.”

  “I suppose it is. Let’s go to bed, Sophie. At least I can hold you tonight.”

  She shook her head, and I opened my mouth to protest. I was tired as hell and just wanted to fall asleep with her in my arms. “I can accept that you’re friends with her, but I will never be all right with you coming to my bed with another woman’s scent. Take a shower, buster.” She pointed to the tiny shower in her apartment. I hated that shower. I swear it was built for midgets.

  She stood. “Hurry up, cowboy.”

  “What for?”

  She gave me a sexy smile, licking her lips. “My body may be off limits, but yours isn’t. I’ll be waiting.” Her words were whispered promises, jerking my dick to full awareness.

  Fastest shower I ever took.

  Chapter 30

  Present day

  My unease was at an all-time high. It was five minutes past the class start time. Sylvie wasn’t here yet. She still sat in the back, but we always smiled at each other when she walked in. It wasn’t like her not to show up. I sent her a quick text before beginning my lecture.

  Twenty minutes later, I checked my cell—something I told my
students never to do—but there was no response. I texted again. Where the hell are you?

  I checked ten minutes later and still no response. “Jessica, please take over,” I said in the middle of Melanie Adams reciting her paper on The Iliad.

  I stepped out into the hallway, hitting the button for Sylvie’s phone, trying to control the rampant thoughts in my head. The phone rang several times. I prepared for the heated voicemail I’d leave her when she finally answered and I finally exhaled.

  “Cal,” she said in a raspy voice as if she’d been crying. All my anger instantly dissipated.

  “Where are you?”

  “At home,” she choked.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “He found me.”

  “Are you hurt?” My fingers tightened around the phone so hard I was afraid it would pop right out of my hand.

  “I’m fine.”

  I exhaled a long breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in. “Are you safe right now?” I asked, heading back to the classroom to retrieve my jacket and keys.

  “Yes, he’s gone. The police are here. It was the alarm. The sound made him run off.”

  “I’ll be there as fast as I can.” I propped open the door. “Jessica, I need you take over.”

  “Everything okay?” she asked.

  “It’s a family emergency.”

  Jessica looked at me, perplexed, but nodded. As far as I was concerned, that was the most truthful response I could give. Sylvie was my family and always had been.

  Chapter 31

  Present day

  I reached her place in record time, breaking all speed limits and running every light in my path. I charged up the stairs, but halted in my tracks when I saw the door busted off the jamb with a broken chain swinging in mock victory. I pushed it open and walked in. There were several police officers and men in suits. Looking for her, I ignored them all.