Girl By Any Other Name Read online

  Molly sat straighter in her chair and leaned into the table. “You’re dating someone?”

  Fuck.

  “Oh, no, Molls, our boy’s in love,” Tony replied with a grin.

  I kicked him under the table. “That serious?” she asked with a false hope in her voice that made me feel guilty.

  I’d been very clear from the start that I was still in love with the girl I’d met when I was ten. At first, Molly thought it was cute, endearing, as women often did. She said we could be casual. Then she wanted more, so we became exclusive. I didn’t mind because I genuinely enjoyed her company. I thought I could forget Sylvie. After a while, I realized I couldn’t, and that wasn’t fair to Molly. I tried breaking up with her, apologizing to her, letting her know how special she was, but that whole “it’s me, not you” deal never worked. Molly was a sweet girl with a nurturing heart, bubbly personality, and after several weeks of being pissed at me, she forgave me. She even asked if we could remain friends.

  I’d been cautious about the arrangement, but we were both lonely so we’d kept each other company. Occasionally our friendship spilled into quick, dirty sex when one of us needed it. The friends-with-benefits angle had satisfied my physical cravings and her longings, but in the end, it wasn’t fair to her. She deserved so much more than someone who couldn’t return her feelings.

  The last time she’d cried afterward. That was a few months ago, and I’d told her we couldn’t do this anymore. She still wanted to be friends, though, and my selfish self had agreed because I needed a friend. Our relationship was dysfunctional, maybe even delusional, but it worked. There had been other sexual encounters, but Molly was my only relationship besides Sylvie.

  Fuck.

  What the hell was Sylvie going to think about me hanging out at a bar with my ex-girlfriend? I hadn’t even thought about it when I’d agreed to meet them. This was new territory for me. What would I think if Sylvie did this? I’d be pissed as hell. I couldn’t dwell on it too long because both Molly and Tony were staring at me, expecting an answer.

  “Yeah, it’s very serious.” She waited for me to volunteer more information, but I had nothing more to say.

  “How long?”

  “Does it matter, Molly?”

  “To me it does. How long?” She swigged the rest of her beer with the skill of a sailor on shore leave. She wiped her mouth and stared at me.

  “Almost a month.”

  “Well, glad to see that you’re finally letting go of your past.” The plied sugariness in her voice left more of a bitter aftertaste than the beer I was drinking. She twirled her blond hair in her fingers, giving me the evil eye. I suddenly wished I were anywhere but here.

  “I’m so happy for you, man,” Tony said, patting me on the back, acting like Molly wasn’t even there.

  “We need to celebrate. We’ll get shots,” Molly said, gesturing for the waitress.

  “I don’t think shots are a good idea, Molls,” I said.

  “It’s a fucking great idea,” Tony boomed. Was he enjoying this?

  Before I knew it, three shots of Snakebite were on the table. It was appropriately named because like the bite of a snake, the drink, composed of Tequila with lime juice, snuck up on you. “Keep them coming,” Molly said.

  “I’m only doing one,” I replied, taking a wedge of lime from the plate.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll do the rest,” she said, running her fingers over the rim of the shot glass.

  I sighed before taking my shot. “Wouldn’t you rather have a B52 or Lemon Drop or something? This is pretty hard liquor here.”

  “Pussy drinks,” Tony announced. “I love a gal who can drink,” he said, clinking his shot with Molly’s. She smiled at him like they were suddenly best friends.

  The waitress brought more shots. Molly did them all. I breathed a sigh of relief when she accepted an invitation to play pool with a tall guy in a suit. Maybe the distraction would help.

  “She’s pissed,” Tony stated.

  I rolled my eyes. “No shit, Doc. I understand she might not be happy about it, but she really needs to calm the fuck down. I was completely honest with her.”

  “Girls only hear what they want. You tell them you’re not into anything serious. They hear, ‘I need you to change me.’ Especially that one,” he said, cocking his thumb in Molly’s direction.

  “There are some things I will never understand.” The psychology of women being at the top of that list.

  “Bro, you’re kind of a dumbass. Never tell a girl about your unrequited love. They’ll take it as an invitation to heal you of said ailment.”

  “Hate to admit it, but you’ve got a point.”

  Tony was right. I’d only told Molly because she didn’t understand why I was so distant. Instead of making my intentions clear though, my admission only blurred the line between us. Molly was a nurse, too, so she was a healer by trade. She was really a very sweet girl. She just wasn’t meant to be my girl.

  “Funny, I always thought you were the lost cause, but it was Molly.”

  “She’s great. She’ll meet someone.”

  “She doesn’t want to meet anyone, Cal. She’s in love with you. And you’re such a fucking nice guy that you’re ripping the bandage off slow enough that the scab re-opens. You need to rip that bitch off.”

  “Who would have thought you were such a philosopher. Not tonight, though. She seems fragile tonight. Besides, she’s on the express train to drunk town. I might need to drive her home.”

  Tony smirked, combing his fingers through his black hair. “What would your girlfriend say about that?”

  “I don’t know. On second thought, maybe you should drive her home.”

  “Can’t. I have my motorcycle and only one helmet. A drunk girl on a motorcycle is a bad idea. Besides, I’m not as good of a guy as you. If I take her home, I’m going to tap that ass for sure.” He jerked his head toward Molly, playing pool, being obscenely loud, and drinking shots like they might reenact Prohibition.

  “Jesus, Tony. How are we friends again?”

  “We bonded over football and romantic tragedies.”

  “Yeah, guess so. How’s your cabin renovations going?”

  Tony lit up as he always did when we talked about his cabin in the secluded woods of Holy Oak. He was a do-it-yourselfer like me and often sought my advice on how to go about certain repairs. I had never seen it, but we were talking about going fishing there soon since he also had lake access. Unfortunately, those plans would need to be put on hold longer. I was having a hard enough time leaving Sylvie for a whole night, let alone a weekend. Maybe she’d want to come. I smiled at the thought of fishing with her again.

  Molly came up behind me, leaning over my shoulder, setting another shot in front of me. “Do you remember when you licked tequila off my body? Here’s a pop quiz for you professor…where did I put the lime?”

  I blushed, a mixture of embarrassment and unease. Molly was never this vocal. “I think you’re cut off, Molly.”

  “You don’t have to worry about me.” She sat down next to me.

  “So, what’s she like?” Tony asked. Since Molly was between us, I couldn’t easily kick him this time.

  “She’s nice,” I replied lamely, not knowing what else to say that wouldn’t make Molly angrier. I was really questioning why I’d ever thought it was a good idea for us to remain friends.

  “Caleb, I thought you were a writer. Surely, you can do better than that,” she said, taking the shot. Her words started to slur and stick together without any pauses.

  “Yeah, give us more. What does she look like? Do you have a picture?” Tony inquired.

  I didn’t have one. That was something I needed to fix right away, but right now, I was damn happy not to have one to share. “No pictures. She has brown hair and brown eyes.”

  Molly huffed. “And all this time, I thought dying my hair blond made me more appealing. I should have just stayed a brunette.”

  “I like your hair,”
I said.

  “Not enough.” We weren’t talking about hair coloring anymore. Shit.

  Tony smirked, lifting his beer glass. “In vino veritas.” He quoted the Latin motto, which also happened to be another Doc Holliday saying. The phrase translated to “In wine, there is truth.” No kidding.

  “Well…anything else?” he asked.

  “Dammit, Tony, you sound like my momma. Shut up and drink your beer.”

  The conversation shifted, and Molly left to go finish her game. I turned to Tony. “Stop asking me about Sylvie in front of Molly.”

  “Her name is Sylvie?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

  Fuck.

  “No, it’s Sophie Becker. That was a mistake.”

  “Calling her by another girl’s name, especially that name, is a sure-as-shit way to get you banned from calling her at all.”

  “It was just a mistake. Anyway, here’s the deal. I met her, and everything has changed. I love her.”

  “You love her after a month?”

  “I can honestly say I do. She’s very special to me. The thing is, I really don’t want to hurt Molly by going into any great descriptions so stop being an asshole and bringing it up.”

  He lifted his beer to me. “I just want to celebrate the fact that you met a girl who could make you forget about Lenore so easily.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “You’re still hung up on Lenore then? Haven’t given up the ghost?”

  I smiled, unable to contain it. “I don’t need to look any further. Lenore was a dead spirit who haunted Poe. Sophie Becker is very much alive, and she is my everything.”

  I looked over at Molly while Tony started rambling about his cabin. The man she played with was a bit grabby. I wanted to make sure his advances were welcomed. She seemed to be having a good time, sitting in his lap and letting him lean over her when she took a shot, but I was leery. Molly was an adult, but she was also drunk. I reached to her chair and grabbed her purse, fishing through it.

  Tony gaped at me. “So first you break her heart, and now you’re stealing from her?”

  “I just want an insurance policy that she’ll make it home in one piece.” I found her keys and stuffed them into my pocket.

  When I turned to glance once more, Mr. Grabby Hands kissed her. It was hard to tell if she was struggling, but either way, she was inebriated and I needed to step in. “I’m leaving.”

  “So soon? I was just going to ask if you wanted to ask Sylvie to join us?”

  “Yeah, that’s all I need. Let me ask the girl I’m madly in love with to join me for drinks with my ex. No wonder you’re not in a relationship, man.”

  “It’s by choice. Like you, I’m holding out.”

  “For what?” I stood, grabbing Molly’s purse and coat.

  “For my very own Lenore.”

  I shook my head as I made my way to the pool table. “Come on, Molly, I’m taking you home.”

  “She’s not done with the game,” Mr. Grabby said.

  I ignored him. “Molly, I can’t make you leave with me, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you stranded here.” Tony might call her a cab, but he wouldn’t look after her. She was my friend, after all.

  Molly stared back and forth between me and Grabby. “I’m going with him,” she said, gesturing to me.

  I held out her coat for her. She took her purse.

  “Stay,” Grabby Suit said, clasping Molly’s arm. I noticed his fingernails were buffed to a high manicured shine and his teeth were so bright they looked over-bleached.

  “Let go of her,” I warned.

  “We’re having a good time. What are you? Her boyfriend?”

  “No, I’m not. I’m her friend, the one who’s going to make sure she gets home safe. Y’all can exchange phone numbers, and when she’s sober, she can decide if she wants to contact you.”

  “Maybe I want to have contact with her tonight,” he said, tightening his hold on her.

  “Look, buddy, I don’t want a problem with you. I’ll repeat myself one more time, real nice and slow so you understand what I’m saying. Let. Her. Go.” He didn’t, challenging me with his sneer.

  I seized his wrist with a tight hold, relishing the wince on his face. His fingers unclenched, releasing her. I placed my hand on her back and led her out. I heard his clumsy footsteps behind us. Molly jerked when he stomped his pool stick on the floor.

  “Y’all leaving so soon?” he asked, exaggerating the Texas twang in my voice. “Y’all white trash running off with y’all’s tails between your legs? Go ahead. Take that slut out of here. She’s been leading me on all night.”

  Oh, hell no.

  Molly clutched my arm, but I shrugged her off. He lifted the pool stick in the air, like he planned on whipping me with it. What an idiot. I knocked it out of his hand as he swung. Taking a fistful of his shirt in my other hand, I forced him back until I could slam his head against the wall. “You got me all worked up now, you son of a bitch. Think my accent’s funny? If you think I’m trash, then I dare you take me to the dump. Let me tell you something about the south. We are downright hospitable people. So, if you’re itching for a fight, then call me scratch. And if you feel the need to use a pool stick or any other prop because you don’t want to ruin your fancy manicure, feel free. Personally, I like to use what the good Lord gave me.” I slammed his head again. “So, we’ll go through this one more time because I think you’re a little dim-witted to be challenging a man who’s bigger and smarter than you. I’m warning you once more, if you say another fucking word to me or her, I’m probably going to jail and you’ll be at the hospital. And trust me when I say, it’ll be an extended visit for both of us. I’d suggest we avoid the theatrics so I can go home and you can finish your fucking Cosmopolitan, or whatever you have in that martini glass that I know is too pink to be Gin and Vermouth. Do you agree, or do you need more convincing?” I cleared my throat, and then letting all my Texas shine through, I said, ““Because like I said, partner, I’m glad to oblige either way.”

  Mr. Grabby stared at me for a minute. I could see the flicker of emotions on his face, from indignation to fear to surrender. He held up his hands in a giving-up gesture, and I pulled him closer to me, “We’re not done, asshole.” I spun him around to face Molly, holding his hands back. “Apologize to the lady.”

  “S-sorry,” he stammered. I released him with a shove. He stumbled into the pool table.

  I took Molly’s arm and led her toward the exit. Everyone stared at me with jaw-dropping expressions, except for Tony, who was laughing his ass off. “Can’t believe you started a fight in here, Ringo,” he said with a smirk. “I would have helped, but I’m a lover not a fighter.”

  “It wasn’t a fight.”

  “Then what was it?”

  “Me threatening a fight and him shitting his pants. A fight requires two participants.”

  Tony’s laughter followed us out of the bar and into the chilly night air.

  Once we got outside, Molly hugged me. “Caleb, I knew you cared. I didn’t mean to make you jealous.”

  I released her, trying my best to keep my temper in check. “You did that on purpose?”

  She stood before me, looking suddenly contrite. “I-I’m sorry.”

  “Molly, that was a pretty bitchy thing to do. Let me make this clear for you. I wasn’t jealous, but I wasn’t going to let you go home with a stranger either. What I did in there was born out of concern for you, encouraged by that dickhead and my inability to keep my anger in check. This is me being a friend to you, and that’s all.”

  Her lower lip quivered, and she ran away from me to her car. I followed behind slowly, trying to give her a moment alone and knowing that I had all the time in the world. I was pissed, but she was my friend, and I would not leave a friend behind. She rummaged through her purse and then through her pockets, dropping her handbag in the process. I bent down to pick up the scattered contents that lay on the pavement. “Leave me alone. I just need to f
ind my keys.”

  “I’m driving you home.”

  “I can drive myself. I don’t need anything from you, Caleb.”

  “This isn’t debatable.”

  “I can’t leave my car here.”

  “I’ll drive you in your car and walk back.”

  She stopped blindly groping around the cement. “Are you staying the night?” There was a plea in her eye that was so needy I looked away.

  “No.”

  “Then, like I said, leave me the fuck alone.”

  “Molls, stop this.”

  “I just need to find my keys.”

  I sighed, reaching into my pocket. I pulled out her keys, twirling the key ring around my finger. She tried to grab them from me, but I closed my fist around them. “Either I’m driving you, calling you a cab, or waiting here while one of your other sober friends comes to get you. You choose.”

  I helped her off the ground. She didn’t answer the question, but walked around to the passenger side of her car. I opened the door for her. “Buckle up,” I said. She didn’t move so I leaned in and pulled her seatbelt over. I was thankful she didn’t take advantage of our situation. This was such a bad idea, but sometimes there were no good ideas.

  The ride to her apartment was quiet. I helped her up the stairs and unlocked the door for her. I got aspirin and water ready while she changed. I helped her into bed. “Take these right now,” I said, handing her the aspirin. I held the water glass for her. “It looks like Carrie is home, so I’m going to leave.”

  Carrie was Molly’s roommate. Although it was more of an economical arrangement between them and they weren’t close friends, Carrie would be there if Molly needed her.

  Before I stood from the edge of the bed, she grasped my arm. “You know why this sucks?”

  I sighed. “I assume you’re going to tell me.”

  “When you were in love with a ghost, I could never compete with that. In a way, it made it okay. It wasn’t my fault you didn’t love me. It was this built-up figment in your imagination of some other girl. I could deal with that in a way. But now you tell me you just met a girl and you’re in love, so as it turns out, it was absofuckinglutely me.”